We are told that love does not take
into account a wrong suffered (1 Corinthians 13:5). Now it is clear from
Scripture that, as Christians, we need to forgive others (Ephesians 4:32;
Colossians 3:13; 2 Corinthians 2:6,7). And the basis of our forgiveness of
others must always be the fact that God has forgiven us (Ephesians 1:7; Hebrews
8:12; Matthew 18:21-35). If we recognize that we ourselves are sinners (Romans
3:23; Isaiah 64:6; Jeremiah 17:9). If we recognize our sins were paid for by
Christ’s sacrifice (1 Peter 2:24,25; Colossians 2:13,14; 2 Corinthians 5:21).
And that we are saved by putting our faith in Christ apart from works (Romans
4:4,5; Ephesians 2:8,9; Philippians 3:9). Then it follows, we need to forgive
others. But there is another aspect.
An underlying issue is, who is in
control of your life? If circumstances are in control, then any seriously bad
thing that happens to you can devastate you. This being so, any person who does
something really nasty to you has the potential of ruining your live. And there
are many people who go through life with the concept that someone destroyed the
life they should have had. Needless to say, such a thing can be hard to
forgive. Or if we believe we control our own life, then people, or at least
those who are opposed to us, can become obstacles that we need to overcome. In
this case, whether we succeed or fail, it can be hard not to continue to be
hostile to them. But Scripture says God is in control of my life, and this
gives a different perspective (Ephesians 1:11; Isaiah 43:13; Daniel 4:34,35). Because
of this, I realize that God is at work in my life to accomplish His purposes
(Romans 8:28-30; Genesis 50:20; Ephesians 2:10). Whether we understand this
makes a difference in how we face circumstances. To have the idea that what
someone else does to us, or even our bad choices, will so mess up our life that
God can never get it back on track again is to live on the edge of a precipice.
Now God does want us to live in obedience to Him (Titus 2:11-14; Romans
6:12-14; Galatians 5:13). But we are all people in process, and we are not
there yet (Philippians 3:12-16; Galatians 5:16,17; Romans 7:14-25). But God has
promised to bring His people through, victorious (Romans 8:37; 2 Corinthians
2:14; Philippians 1:6).
Now I do not want to excuse bad
choices. Nor do I want to excuse doing bad things to others. But God uses these
things to accomplish His purposes in our lives. Even if we are told to go to
Nineveh and we run the opposite direction, God can bring us back on track and
use even this to accomplish His purposes (see Jonah). Therefore, we can repent
of our sins and leave them behind us (2 Corinthians 7:10) and forgive those who
have wronged us (1 Peter 4:8).
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