Love Never Fails

Does anything last forever? What does? The apostle Paul says that the thing that lasts is love. It can legitimately be claimed that the phrase "love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8) really belongs to the next paragraph in the passage. But because it is frequently quoted as part of the description of love and  does have something to tell us about the nature of love, I have decided to include it here. The main point is that while the spiritual gifts are temporary, love lasts forever (1 Corinthians 13:8-10). This is because there will come a time when we will know God directly and no longer need to be instructed (1Corinthians 13:12). It makes sense that love should be the thing that endures, because it is the basis for all Christian character, being the command on which all the others are based (Matthew 22:34-40; Romans 13:8-10; James 2:8). Also, love is the basis of relationships, our relationship with God and relationships with other people, and this is also something that lasts forever (1 Thessalonians 2:19; Titus 2:14; Revelation 3:12). Therefore, we should cultivate love, for it is the thing that will last when all others have passed away.  

Endures All Things

Love endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). God requires endurance, following and obeying Him in difficult situations (Hebrews 12:1; Romans 12:12: James 5:10,11). Now, again, this does not mean there is not a place to try to settle difficult problems (Matthew 18:15-17; 1 Corinthians 6:5; Galatians 6:1). But not all problems are solvable. Sometimes it can be a difficult decision to decide what situations to try to solve and what situations to endure. But it should be based on what is the right thing to do, rather than what I am willing to take. We cannot set our arbitrary limit to what we are willing to endure. For our example is the One who was willing to endure the cross for us (Hebrews 12:2; 1 Peter 2:21-25; Romans 15:3). This is not necessarily easy, and we must trust in God's work in our life to enable us to do it (2 Corinthians 3:18; Philippians 2:13; Ephesians 2:10). But it is the goal.

Hopes All Things

Love hope all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). This does not mean that we can hope for a life of unbroken comfort (John 16:33; 1 Peter 4:13; 2 Corinthians 4:17,18). But it is hope in the actual promises of God (Romans 4:18; Ephesians 1:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:13). This involves the hope that Christ will ultimately be victorious, and His people will be victorious with Him (Romans 8:37; Revelation 21:4; Philippians 3:20,21). Also, if God is at work in the lives of people, it gives us hope that they may come to Him or repent and change their behavior (John 6:44; 16:8-11; Acts 13:48). These are the hopes that love for God and love for others would have us entertain. So that we may escape the dreary modern prison of a hopeless world.

Love Believes All Things

Love believes all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). I have struggled with this one. I do not believe it means being naive and gullible and accepting things as true which have no rational basis. I see nothing in Scripture to commend such an attitude. But I do believe it is speaking against an attitude of skepticism and cynicism that too easily dismisses people when they do not live up to our expectations.  With God it means trusting Him even when things do not turn out our way  (Proverbs 3:5,6; Hebrews 11:13-16; 2 Corinthians 5:7). With people it means encouraging them and helping them to follow God rather than dismissing at the first sign of failure (Hebrews 10:24,25; Colossians 3:12-14; Matthew 18:21,22). A good example of this is Barnabas who gave John Mark another chance when he had failed earlier (Acts 12:13; 15:37-39; 2 Timothy 4:11). There can sometimes be a thin line between this and being gullible, but we need to walk that line.

Bears All Things

Love bears all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). There are two possible ideas here. That love bears others burdens (Galatians 6:2; Romans 15:1,2; Hebrews 12:12,13) or that it shows forbearance to others (Ephesians 4:1-3; Colossians 3:12-14; 1 Corinthians 6:7,8). I think both of these are in view here, to help those who need help and not to retaliate if someone does us wrong. Now I do not think that this means that there is no place to try to obtain justice (1 Corinthians 6:2-6; Matthew 18:15-17; Acts 16:35--39) or that people should be allowed simply to take advantage of others (Galatians 6:5; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12; Ephesians 4:28). But I am convinced that "all things" here means anything, no matter how great, if it is ultimately required. It is not speaking of reasonable attempts to pursue justice or exercise prudence, but of how far we will go to help another when these things fail. The example here is Jesus, who bore the cross to save us (Romans 15:3; Luke 23:34; 2 Corinthians 8:9). When push comes to shove, love is willing to do whatever it takes to help another.The issue here is one of attitude. We should be concerned enough for the real welfare of others not to just give them what they want because they want it. But there should be no limit to what we will do to help others genuinely in need. This is hard to live up to, but I am convinced it is God's standard.

Rejoices with the Truth

Love and truth are often portrayed as contraries. But Scripture regards them as fitting together (1 Corinthians 13:6; Psalm 85:10,11; Ephesians 4:15). This is important. Love without truth can become a vague sentimentality. It can end up giving people what they want, without ever asking what is really best for them. Truth without love can become harsh and even cruel. It can run rough-shod over people, without considering how to genuinely help them. We need both elements together.

The place that these come together is with Christ and His death on the cross. This is put forth as the truth and the only way to God (John 14:6; Acts 4:12; 1 Corinthians 1:18-25). But it is also the great expression of  God's love (Romans 5:6-8; 1 John 4:9,10; John 3:16). And our response to God's love is for us is to love others (1 John 4:19-21; 2 Corinthians 5:14,15; Galatians 5:13,14). But we are also required to stand for God's truth (Jude 3; Romans 16:17; 1 John 4:1-6). Now the two together change how we approach the situation (I Peter 3:15; 2 Timothy 2:24-26; Colossians 4:5,6). For it is only with both that we can do the work of God.

Love and Unrighteousness

Many people's idea of love is for people to be left to do whatever they want and never be corrected for it. But 1 Corinthians 13:6 says that love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. On the contrary, we are told that love for God and our neighbor is the sum total of God's commands and that all the other commands flow from it (Romans 13:8-13; James 2:8-11; Galatians 5:13,14. Why is this so? As C. S. Lewis points out in The Problem of Pain, a genuine deep love, like the love of parent and child or husband and wife, wants what is best for the other person and not just what they happen to want. This represents a stronger type of love, rather than a weaker type. Now there are those self-righteous people who condemn others to build themselves up (Matthew 23:4-7; Luke 18:9-14; Romans 2:1). But there are also those who correct in love, in order to help the other person (Hebrews 12:7-13; Galatians 6:1; Luke 19:1-10). Therefore, we should not just accept all behavior, but be careful we are dealing with it in the right attitude.

Not Taking into Account a Wrong Suffered

We are told that love does not take into account a wrong suffered (1 Corinthians 13:5). Now it is clear from Scripture that, as Christians, we need to forgive others (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; 2 Corinthians 2:6,7). And the basis of our forgiveness of others must always be the fact that God has forgiven us (Ephesians 1:7; Hebrews 8:12; Matthew 18:21-35). If we recognize that we ourselves are sinners (Romans 3:23; Isaiah 64:6; Jeremiah 17:9). If we recognize our sins were paid for by Christ’s sacrifice (1 Peter 2:24,25; Colossians 2:13,14; 2 Corinthians 5:21). And that we are saved by putting our faith in Christ apart from works (Romans 4:4,5; Ephesians 2:8,9; Philippians 3:9). Then it follows, we need to forgive others. But there is another aspect. 

 

An underlying issue is, who is in control of your life? If circumstances are in control, then any seriously bad thing that happens to you can devastate you. This being so, any person who does something really nasty to you has the potential of ruining your live. And there are many people who go through life with the concept that someone destroyed the life they should have had. Needless to say, such a thing can be hard to forgive. Or if we believe we control our own life, then people, or at least those who are opposed to us, can become obstacles that we need to overcome. In this case, whether we succeed or fail, it can be hard not to continue to be hostile to them. But Scripture says God is in control of my life, and this gives a different perspective (Ephesians 1:11; Isaiah 43:13; Daniel 4:34,35). Because of this, I realize that God is at work in my life to accomplish His purposes (Romans 8:28-30; Genesis 50:20; Ephesians 2:10). Whether we understand this makes a difference in how we face circumstances. To have the idea that what someone else does to us, or even our bad choices, will so mess up our life that God can never get it back on track again is to live on the edge of a precipice. Now God does want us to live in obedience to Him (Titus 2:11-14; Romans 6:12-14; Galatians 5:13). But we are all people in process, and we are not there yet (Philippians 3:12-16; Galatians 5:16,17; Romans 7:14-25). But God has promised to bring His people through, victorious (Romans 8:37; 2 Corinthians 2:14; Philippians 1:6).

Now I do not want to excuse bad choices. Nor do I want to excuse doing bad things to others. But God uses these things to accomplish His purposes in our lives. Even if we are told to go to Nineveh and we run the opposite direction, God can bring us back on track and use even this to accomplish His purposes (see Jonah). Therefore, we can repent of our sins and leave them behind us (2 Corinthians 7:10) and forgive those who have wronged us (1 Peter 4:8).

Not Flying Off the Handle

The next quality of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it is not provoked. Provoked is a rare word in the New Testament and can be used in a good sense (Hebrews 10:24; Acts 17:16). It seems to have the basic idea of to react, as to a strong smell. In 1 Corinthians 13 it clearly speaks of simply reacting to things, generally in anger. I have found it is frequently very easy to put my mouth in motion before I put my brain in gear. In this, it helps to trust God and believe He can help me deal with the difficulties I face in life (Proverbs 3:5,6; Psalms 37:3-7: 127:1-2). It also has helped me, whenever possible, to delay answering until I have time to think about my answer. Sometimes it is best to just keep silent (Proverbs 17:28; 21:23; 15:28). But the bottom line is that love considers the welfare of the other person above our own (Philippians 2:3-11; Matthew 7:12; Romans 15:1-3). This is often hard to remember when dealing with another person, especially if they are genuinely behaving badly (which is known to happen). But we need to trust God to empower us not to react in the immediate moment (2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 5:16; Philippians 2:13).

Seeks Not Its Own

Love does not seek its own things (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3,4; Romans 13:8-10). This goes against our fallen human nature ,which often responds violently if we are deprived of anything we think is our due.We also in American tradition complain loudly of being deprived of anything we think we have a right to have. (I do not deny that the idea of rights has a value on the judicial level, but taken into the area of personal relations it can be very destructive.) And as C. S. Lewis points out in the Screwtape Letters, there is a tendency for us to make claims of more and things and feel deprived if we are denied them. As Lewis also points out, there is a tendency to reduce all the senses of the word, "my": "my boots," "my wife," "my country," "my church," "my God," all down to the level of "my boots," something that belongs to me. This can even try to sneak its way into supposedly spiritual things, "my denomination," "my church," "my ministry," "my Sunday School class," allowing me to convince myself I am serving God when I am really only contending for things I claim are mine. I can also become concerned with furthering "my people," however I define them, and run roughshod over others in their defense (James 2:1-9; Romans 12:16; Matthew 9:10-13). It does not help that all these things can look justifiable and be hard to distinguish from legitimate concerns.

We have in this the example of the Lord Jesus, who, though God, was willing to become a man and suffered to redeem us from sin (Philippians 2:5-11; Mark 10:42-45; 2 Corinthians 8:9). Therefore, we also ought to be willing to give up the things that we have to help others. Also, we should trust God (Psalms 127:1,2; 37:3-6; Proverbs 3:5,6) and His provision (Philippians 4:19; Matthew 6:25-34; 1 Timothy 6:6-10). I am not here speaking against reasonable planning, but the idea that I must hold on to all I have in order to protect myself and therefore cannot help others. And we also ought to carefully examine our "my" claims and put them in perspective.  

Behaving Becomingly

It says in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love does not act unbecomingly. And the question then comes: What does that mean? This word and its related forms are rare in the New Testament and in the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament, but it has the idea of something that is dishonored and looked down on. While it can used in a more neutral sense, it is generally used of inappropriate behavior, particularly of a sexual nature (Romans 1:27; Genesis 34:7; Revelation 16:15). The implication here is that genuine love is responsible and restrained and does not just follow its impulses, wherever they lead. This is important, because in our present culture love is frequently viewed as encouraging people to simply follow their feelings. Now there is a form of ethic that views self-control as being the center of ethics and ends up harsh and unloving (Colossians 2:20-23; 1 Timothy 4:1-6; Titus 1:15). But self-denial is clearly part of God's commandment (Galatians 5:23; Matthew 16:24-26; Romans 13:11-14). Underlying this is the idea that we are sinners and all our impulses are not good things (Romans 3:23; Jeremiah 17:9; Isaiah 64:6). Love then, Scripturally, does not mean following our impulses and encouraging other people to follow theirs, but a reasoned putting of the welfare of others before our own (Philippians 2:4-11; Galatians 6:1-10; Mark 10:42-45). This results in a love that thoughtful and intentional, not just a vague feeling. And one that is concerned whether it acts unbecomingly.

Not Putting Ourselves Forward

Humility is one of the least valued of the Biblical virtues in the present day. It also competes with meekness to be the most misunderstood and stereotyped. Our society emphasizes self-esteem and assertiveness. It argues that you must believe in yourself to be successful. Humility is seen as putting yourself down and denying the abilities that you actually have. This is not genuine humility. I like C. S. Lewis' description of a man who makes a beautiful painting and recognizes it is a beautiful painting and rejoices in it. But he does not rejoice in it more than if it had been done by another, or in a sunset or a waterfall. It is the strong preference for something that is mine just because it mine that produces the bragging and being puffed up that are opposed to love and are wrong (1 Corinthians 13:4; Proverbs 16:18; Luke 18:9-14).

Now there are clear reasons for humility. We are created by God, and every good thing we have comes from Him (Genesis 1:26-28; Psalm 139:13-16; James 1:17). We are also sinners (Romans 3:23; Jeremiah 17:9; Isaiah 64:6) who have been saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8,9; Romans 4:4,5; Philippians 3:9). Also, it is God who is at work in us to change us and accomplish His purposes through us (1 Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 2:10; Colossians 1:28,29). Therefore we do not trust in ourselves but in God (2 Corinthians 1:9; James 4:13-16; Psalm 147:10,11).

This type of humility does not lead to timidity, but to a confidence based on God and our relationship with Him (2 Timothy 1:7-12; Ephesians 6:19,20; Romans 8:31-39). And while it may require us to make an honest evaluation of our abilities (Romans 12:3), it does not call us to ignore them, but to use them for the building up of others (Romans 12:4-8; 1 Peter 4:10,11; Ephesians 4:11-16). But it gives credit to God where the credit is due (Galatians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10) and puts the good of others before our own (Philippians 2:3-11; Galatians 5:13-15;  Romans 12:16). 

I'm as Good as You

(Note: I am going through the descriptions of love given in 1 Corinthians 13. I have previously dealt with patience and kindness under my treatment of the fruit of the spirit.)

Love does not envy. It does not try to keep up with the Joneses. But in many ways our whole culture is built around this impulse. I need to show that I can be as good as or better than the person next door. Something that has been condemned in the past and by Scripture has become an acceptable way of behavior (James 3:14-16; Galatians 5:26; Romans 13:13). How has this come about?

One underlying influence is commercialism.  In order to get us to buy things, we are encouraged to feel we have to have them just because other people have them. An attitude of competition is fostered, and the real winners are the people who get us to buy things we do not need or maybe even want just because our neighbors own them.

Another influence here is a distortion of the idea of democracy. C. S. Lewis in his story Screwtape  Proposes a Toast calls it the spirit of "I'm as good as you." The idea is to say, not that we are all equal in value even if we are different, but that we all are equal and no one should be allowed to be different. This does not result in people trying to excel to be like others, but in pulling others down to their own level. This is a worse form of envy than the competitive kind.

To avoid this we need to realize we are all made in the image of God and are valuable even if we are different (Genesis 1:26,27; 9:6; James 3:9,10). And those who come to Christ become part of His body, and each has their own place and function and is given honor for that, whatever it is (1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Romans 12:3-8; Ephesians 2:10). Also, we need to trust God for His provision and to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:6-10; Matthew 6:25-34; Philippians 4:19). This does not mean we cannot ask what reasonable steps we might take to improve. But it does we should not make it our goal to keep up with other people. And certainly not to tear them down to our level.

The Nature of Love

After looking at the fruit of the Spirit, I would like to look at the descriptions of love in 1 Corinthians 13, or at least the ones I have not already dealt with under the fruit of the Spirit. Now 1 Corinthians 13 is in a context. It is based on a discussion of the spiritual gifts and is intended to make the point that simply having a particular spiritual gift does not make you better or more spiritual than other believers; the real issue is whether it is exercised in love (1 Corinthians 13:1-3; 12:14-25; Romans 12:3-5). This is important because love is held up as the basis of all Christian behavior (Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 13:8-10; Galatians 5:13,14). But it is easy to confuse impressive gifts or significant outward accomplishments with what is really important in the sight of God, the true character of the heart. This is particularly true as the outward things are so much easier to measure. But I would like to follow Paul in looking at love, which is the moral quality God really values. 

Control Thyself

Self-control is good. It is one of the things God requires of us (Proverbs 25:28; 2 Peter 1:6; 2 Timothy 3:3). But it can become distorted. We cannot simply follow every impulse that presents itself to us (Colossians 3:8-10; Jude 4, James 1:14,15). And this is something something we need to remind ourselves of in a culture where pursuit of pleasure is fast becoming the central focus of life. But while self-control clearly is a Biblical virtue, it is not the chief or only virtue. However, there are some ethical systems that take self-control as the primary requirement. This can become self-control for the sake of self-control, which is not what God demands (Colossians 2:20-23; 1 Timothy 4:1-6; Philippians 4:4). This results in a harsh, unfeeling morality, centered on the things we do not do. Rather, the chief Christian virtue is love (Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 13:8-10; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3), which results in putting others before ourselves (Philippians 2:3,4; Galatians 5:13,14; Romans 12:9-21). Now if we are going put others first, we need to be willing to restrain our own impulses. But it is a restraint with the purpose to leave room for love. Self-control is sort of like bug spray. We need to use it to deal with some of the uglier aspects of our personality, so they do not get out and cause havoc. But if we make the focus of our life looking for more and smaller bugs to spray, we have lost perspective. So we need to have self-control, but we need to keep it in its appropriate place.

Meekness Without Weakness

There is no Biblical virtue so commonly caricatured today as meekness. In fact, it has become so bad that many modern translations refuse to use the word. But in changing the word, they end up changing the meaning. Therefore, it seems to me better to use the word, but to define it. Especially since I suspect that in losing the word, we are in danger of losing the concept. Today meekness is commonly connected with cowardice. It is people who do not defend themselves because they are too scared to. The basic idea is that everyone should stand up for themselves, and if you do not, it is because you lack the will. This is not at all the Biblical definition. The Biblical definition is people who refuse to retaliate or seek their own from restraint and trust in God (Romans 12:14-21; Matthew 5:43-48; Philippians 2:3,4). We see the ultimate example of this in the Lord Jesus Christ, who became a Man and died a criminal's death for our sake (Philippians 2:5-11; Hebrews 2:9-18; 1 Peter 2:21-25). He could have defended Himself, but chose not to (Matthew 26:53; Luke 23:34; Isaiah 53:7). But nowhere do we see any signs of cowardice or weakness. Now I do believe there are times when we need to act in defense of others or ourselves. What is advocated here is an attitude. One that is rooted in trust in God (Proverbs 3:5,6; Psalms 127:1,2; 37:3-9), rather than standing on our own rights. It is in this spirit that we are to understand turning the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-42). An eye for an eye was originally a legal enactment, but it had been turned into a lifestyle. The first response to a wrong done to us should not be to retaliate. This is something that is not done from a position of weakness, but one of strength.

Holding on to Faithfulness

A key quality, perhaps the key quality, that God looks for in those involved  in ministry for Him is faithfulness (1 Corinthians 4:1,2; 2 Timothy 2:2; 1 Timothy 1:12). And all Christians in their own way are to be involved in such ministry. The word is used of waiting tables (Acts 6:1), giving to the poor (Acts 11:29; 2 Corinthians 9:1; Romans 15:31), and general service (Romans 12:7; 1 Corinthians 12:5; Ephesians 4:12), as well as the ministry of the word (Acts 6:4; 20:24; 2 Corinthians 4:1,2). (Note, it is the same word in all these passages, though it is sometimes translated differently.) But faithfulness as the requirement flies in the face of what we often look for. We want someone with charisma, with grand schemes and flashy programs. And we put all our hopes in a few key people given celebrity status.  But Christ says He will build His church (Matthew 16:18; 1 Corinthians 3:6,7; Colossians 2:19). What He wants is for all of us to be is faithful in doing His work. Could it be we have hitched our wagon to the wrong star?

Being One of the Good Guys

It is easy for goodness to degenerate into a cliche.The goodness described in the fruit of the Spirit is a positive goodness. There are various words for good in Scripture. This word describes the goodness that gives good things to others. The example of this is God, who gives good things even to those who oppose Him (Matthew 5:44-48; 7:11; 20:15). It goes beyond kindness, which can be understood as being somewhat passive, to giving positive benefits. One who is good produces good things that benefit others (Luke 6:45; Acts 11:24, Galatians 6:10). It is frequently used of good things done for the poor or unfortunate (Acts 9:36; Luke 1:53; 2 Corinthians 9:8). There is an idea that the way to relate to people is to be kind and not interfere. It says the best thing you can do for people is leave them alone. I certainly have some of this idea. Goodness goes beyond this to ask how can I positively help people.

Kindling Kindness

Kindness is associated with being tenderhearted, forbearing, and forgiving (Ephesians 4:31,32; Colossians 3:12; 1 Corinthians 13:4). It is related to long-suffering, but it is not quite the same thing. Long-suffering is more the negative, the bearing with others. Kindness is more the positive, being concerned about those in need. Long-suffering is more of an encounter of equals, letting go of the daily rubs that come from being human. Kindness looks to those struggling and in need and seeks to help. It is the attitude God has toward us as sinners in need of rescue (Titus 3:4; Romans 2:4; Isaiah 54:8). It is, I fear, a fruit that can be somewhat rare in the modern American church. We have, I fear, too often adopted the ethic of the stoics, with its hard imperviousness. We can, in many cases, maintain an attitude of restraint, of some degree of long-suffering. But we can lack real kindness for those who fall, even though we are told to act to restore them (Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 12:12,13; 2 Timothy 2:24-26). In this it helps to remember that we ourselves are sinners who require kindness (Romans 7:18,19; Philippians 3:12-16; Galatians 5:17). Now there is a danger here, as with other fruits of the spirit (for example, self-control), of taking it in isolation and pushing it to the extreme. The result can be a refusal to correct sinful behavior. But we must not let fear of the extreme discourage us from trusting the Holy Spirit to cultivate in us the fruit of kindness (2 Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 2:13).  

To Long for Long-Suffering

Almost everybody wants love, joy, and peace. After all, who would not? But some of the other fruits of the Spirit seem less desirable, or at least more difficult. One of them is long-suffering, or patience. (It should be noted that there are two types of patience, both of which are commended in Scripture. The one I am dealing with here is patience with people, while the other is patience with circumstances). Now long-suffering is what God is with us (Romans 2:4; 1 Timothy 1:15,16; 2 Peter 3:15). And it is what God calls us to be (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 1:11; 3:12). But such an attitude is often looked down on in the world at large. We are told we need to assert ourselves, stand up for what we want. Even if we do not hold this view, there is a natural tendency to retaliate and get our own back (Romans 12:17-21; Matthew 5:43-48; Proverbs 20:22). Now it should be noted that the picture here is not that of a person who is a doormat. Rather, it is being willing to stand up firmly to evil without retaliating, based on trust in God (Proverbs 3:5,6; Psalms 37:1-6; Romans 8:28). The ultimate example of this is, of course, Jesus Christ, who though He was God in the flesh, suffered greatly for our salvation (Philippians 2:5-11; 1 Peter 2:21-25; Hebrews 12:2). But it is only by trusting in His Spirit to work this in us that we see this attitude developed in ourselves (2 Corinthians 3:18; Philippians 2:13; Galatians 5:16).