Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Widget Company

 Re-Posted from "Meditations of a Charismatic Calvinist Who Does Not Speak in Tongues"

(I do not normally feel comfortable with likening the Christian church to a business, but sometimes the analogy works.)

The Widget Company got together a sales task to determine why they were losing market share and what to do about.

"What we need is more advertising," stated one eager young executive, "A high quality ad campaign will help us immensely."

"And we must appeal to felt needs," said another, "We must convince people that having a widget will save their marriage, further their career, and improve their sex lives."

"We should redo the decor of our stores," said an older member, "We want something quiet and conservative, that conjures up a feel of reliability. All our salesmen should wear suits and ties and our saleswomen nice dresses, and they should behave in a reserved manner. The music should be quiet and soothing."

"Not at all," said a younger member, "People today are interested in friendliness. and openness.  We need casual clothes, upbeat music, and a decor to match."

"We should serve refreshments," gushed a lady from mid-management, "and have greeters at the door. We should make everyone who comes in feel they are part of one big happy family."

"We should be always be celebrating something new and having special events," said a young man newly hired from another company. "We should continually have new lines and new sales. Celebrate all the holidays and invent other special themes to capture people's attention."

The office boy stood up trembling, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, fearful to inject his foolish question. "Excuse me," the office boy stammered, "what's a widget?"

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