A Meeting of the Staff

As the ambassadors entered the room in slow, measured steps, the staff meeting of the Corps Diplomatic Ecclesia was called to order. Chief Ambassador Sidney Moderator began in a slow, measured tone. "We have come together to discuss the current image of the Kingdom in the sight of outsiders," he stated. "It would seem that our image has been tarnished in the eyes of public opinion by various detractors. We need to do something to correct this. Any suggestions?"

"Well," replied Ambassador Handsoff, an older and highly dignified gentleman, "our problem is too much intermingling with those outside. It does nothing but corrupt our people and lead to the tarnishing of our image."

"But don't we want to encourage immigration?" remarked Press Attache Newsnose, whose candor had often hindered his advancement in the Corps. "And would not isolationism discourage this?"

"When they see our correct and decorous lifestyle," returned Handsoff, "they will be impressed and want to immigrate."

"How far are you willing to take this?" asked the Chief Ambassador.

"I am forced to wonder if I should really be associating with the people in this room," Handsoff replied, in a stiff manner.

"What we really need is political action," said Ambassador Legislator, an active, middle-aged man with a loud, booming voice. "There are a few corrupt people who have gotten control of the wheels of power. We must act decisively to drive them out."

"But do we really want just outward conformity to a few laws?" asked Attache Newsnose.

"The hearts of the common people are basically with us," said Legislator. "If we change the people in charge, they will support us."

"And how successful have you been in enlisting the masses to support you?" asked the Chief Ambassador.

"It has been hit and miss," Legislator admitted, "but give them time and they will see the light."

"All of this is wrong-headed," stated Ambassador Sensitive, a young man who many regarded as too casually dressed. "The problem is, the outsiders do not really know us. If they got to know us and found out we are just like them, they would immigrate."

"But aren't there people who are really opposed to what we teach?" said Attache Newsnose, trying to offend three ambassadors in a row.

"I am sure this is all a misunderstanding," returned Sensitive. "If given a chance, they will see it."

"And how far will you go to attract outsiders?" asked the Chief Ambassador.

"Well, there were some who claimed our Las Vegas Casino Night went a  bit far," admitted Sensitive. "But you must always contend with the narrow-minded."

An assistant rose from the the outer ring of chairs and asked, "Could we not just serve the King as best we can and leave it to Him to deal with our image?"

He was hooted down by the entire room.

(apologies to Keith Laumer)